[I have decided I will update this at least once a month...I know I'm a little off but oh well you will live. What I will talk about won't necessarily be what is going on in my life, but moreso what I have discovered in the past month.]
I have come to realize the root of all feelings of heartbreak, disappointment, mourning, sadness, discontent. It is simply because we always want more. And these feelings stem from not finding that "more" in that person, place, event, situation, circumstance, etc.
As humans we always try to strive towards finding our true desires. It's our nature. But see where we go wrong is when we strive to fulfilling a certain desire through a person, or trying to relive a situation, only to reach disappointment when the person/situation does not turn out how you had hoped it would be.
We then realize that we feel a void in our life. Something is missing and you aren't sure where you can find it. And your life is basically the pursuit of finding it.
The reason why we miss people and why it hurts so much to lose someone is simply because that person who you miss/lost filled a certain hole (or desire) in your heart....and when they aren't in your life anymore, it's as if a part of you is missing and you aren't sure who else can fill it.
What I have learned this month is that all that we are looking for is right infront of us. He always has been. He always will be. Even when we forget that He's there. He'll be there....waiting for us.
His name is Jesus Christ. And because of His sacrifice on the cross.... He shows that there is a love that covers over a multitude of sins. His love.
What I have learned this month is that no matter how much I may deny it, God's love is always going to be present. His love is what will fill our voids of loss in life, as long as we let Him!
And trust me, the reason why I blog about this is because I have severely struggled to accept His love and grace this past month. But what I've realized is that my unacceptance will never change what Christ did on the cross and it will never change His love for me. And I'm not sure what else could possibly fill a void in your life, other than that.
I will now end with this song that my friend Colleen told me to listen to, which actually my friend Amanda had told me to listen to months previous. And I'm pretty sure there is a reason why this song has been reoccuring in my life because I truly think Jesus wanted me to hear this. And perhaps He wants you to hear it to. Like the last verse says, "I want you to know, that I love you. I'll never let you go."
Why are you strivin' these days
Why are you tryin' to earn grace
Why are you cryin', let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you lookin' for love
Why are you still searchin' as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child, tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
In Honor of the Eternal Life of Therese Yeaton
and her wonderful, loving family who reflect her very character.
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